Chimpout Auction House

[sxng9]

I thought it might be fun to add some additional fun & entertainment here. The goal of this thread is to search the Internet for a picture/photo of an item (could be antique or whatever) and pretend like you're selling this item in an auction. This doesn't have to be serious. It can be funny, but be creative and the picture/photo you use doesn't have to be for it's real intended purpose. I got the idea for this game when I saw one of Dirtydan's recent thread about Walmart with a picture of a nigger doll not selling on the shelves (and I'll use the picture for one of my examples).

I hereby present you the Chimpout Auction House!

Welcome all from near, far and across the universe, where you too can find rare and unique collectables right here, right now on Chimpout.com.


Game Rules:
1. Search the Internet for a picture and create a new post. Each auction listing should have a brand new post. It doesn't have to be nigger-related. Be creative, but not too overly descriptive in your descriptions and be funny or serious, etc...
2. Each post should contain: The Title of Your Auction Item, Auction Price, Image/Picture (should be 1 picture - 2 at the most), Description, Fact 1 and Fact 2.

I've started two examples below. Let's all have fun (while remembering to stick to the forum rules) and remember, whatever you're selling doesn't have to be nigger-related and for each fictional item you're selling, should have a new post and not lumped into one, as this may confuse forum readers.

 

[sxng9]

Cardi B's Twerking Niglet Doll
Starting Auction Price
$14.88

Description
Up for auction, is a mirror image doll version of Cardi B. You too can learn to twerk it like a worthless nigger sow. With the ingenuity of Mattel's engineering team, batteries aren't required, as even nigger dolls naturally twerk. To activate the twerk settings, give it a good whip.


Fact 1
Rumor has it that this item was the very first item placed on Nigmart's shelves and labeled as the "Baby's First Day" and has sat unsold on Nigmart's shelves for five centuries. This too can be yours at the everyday low price of $14.88 going five centuries strong.

Fact 2
This doll was actually birfed from Cardi B's stench hole and re-packaged for your convenience.

 

[sxng9]

Battle of Waterloo Hemorrhoids Cleanser
Starting Auction Price
$500

Description
Have signs of rectal bleeding? Can't sit on your horse without shit falling out? Fear not, as you might've contracted what's known as hemorrhoids. As history has shown us, Napoleon Bonaparte's most fiercest battle wasn't battling European armies, but battling anal fissures from coontact with niggers. This contraption serves you well by collecting shit and sending it off at the speed of sound.

Fact 1
The fan-shaped funnel is designed to fit the shape of any behind and 100% made from a collection of nigger gold teef.

Fact 2
The spinning disc has a dual function of serving as a nigger's lip plate and rectum cleaner, as when the disc spins around like a nigger's hooptie rim, the needle scrapes that shit away.