Newsbot
Keeper of the Truth
I'd tell you the one about the Boeing 737...
But it's a joke that doesn't fly these days.
I whispered to a wedding guest that the bride was an ugly fucker.
"Excuse me, that's my daughter!"
"I'm so sorry I didn't realize you were her father" I said.
"I'm her mother!"
Mohammed is the most popular boys name in the UK.
It's also the most unpopular boys name as well.
Wales' new black First Minister announces a change to the national anthem:
"Land of No Fathers."
A Haitian, a Frenchman and a Klansman are arrested for drinking alcohol in Saudi Arabia.
The judge says, "You will get 50 lashes each for drinking alcohol. However, since you're all foreigners and unfamiliar with our culture, I will be lenient. Each of you will have a wish before getting the punishment. You start, Haitian."
Haitian: "I wish that you tie a pillow to my back, before you flog me." His wish is fulfilled, but the flogging is so strong that the pillow quickly tears into pieces.
The Frenchman, upon seeing what happened to the Haitian wishes for two pillows but still, the pillows are torn early.
Finally, the judge turns to the Klansman and says:
"Now, since the USA always treated us fairly, I will be specially lenient with you. You have two wishes, but choose well."
The Klansman says: "First of all I want 100 lashes".
The Haitian and the Frenchman look at each other flabbergasted.
The judge replies: "I don't get it, but you are granted the double number of lashes. And your second wish?"
The Klansman says: "Tie the nigger on my back!"
But it's a joke that doesn't fly these days.
I whispered to a wedding guest that the bride was an ugly fucker.
"Excuse me, that's my daughter!"
"I'm so sorry I didn't realize you were her father" I said.
"I'm her mother!"
Mohammed is the most popular boys name in the UK.
It's also the most unpopular boys name as well.
Wales' new black First Minister announces a change to the national anthem:
"Land of No Fathers."
A Haitian, a Frenchman and a Klansman are arrested for drinking alcohol in Saudi Arabia.
The judge says, "You will get 50 lashes each for drinking alcohol. However, since you're all foreigners and unfamiliar with our culture, I will be lenient. Each of you will have a wish before getting the punishment. You start, Haitian."
Haitian: "I wish that you tie a pillow to my back, before you flog me." His wish is fulfilled, but the flogging is so strong that the pillow quickly tears into pieces.
The Frenchman, upon seeing what happened to the Haitian wishes for two pillows but still, the pillows are torn early.
Finally, the judge turns to the Klansman and says:
"Now, since the USA always treated us fairly, I will be specially lenient with you. You have two wishes, but choose well."
The Klansman says: "First of all I want 100 lashes".
The Haitian and the Frenchman look at each other flabbergasted.
The judge replies: "I don't get it, but you are granted the double number of lashes. And your second wish?"
The Klansman says: "Tie the nigger on my back!"