Location: Caribbean Sea; shares island of Hispaniola with Dominican Republic
Ethnic/Racial Groups: Niggers, 95%; Unlucky humans, 5%
GPD (Total): $16.51 billion
GPD Per Capita: $1,913 (ranked 153rd in world; this still makes them "nigger-rich")
Main Industries: Voodoo, mud pies, TNB
A land of tranquil turqoise beaches with white sand,
delicious food and abundant wildlife. A true tropical paradise. One of
the richest tropical nations in the world. These are the things Haiti
would be if the niggers hadn't ruined it.
Haiti holds the distinction of being the second independent nation
of the Americas, after the USA. Guess which one turned out better?
Haiti was one of France's most prosperous colonies, and they began
developing it in earnest in the 17th century, with sugar cane becoming
the main industry. Unfortunately, the French packed their colony
with too many nigger slaves. In 1791, the niggers started rebelling,
unleashing a cataclysmic bongo party in which they brutally killed
every white person they could find; this included impaling babies
and carrying them atop their spears into "battle". Once the niggers
were done killing, raping and breaking and burning everything, they
declared Haiti independent in 1804. The people on the eastern side
of the island of Hispaniola, said "fuck this shit" and eventually created
the independent Dominican Republic.
Another beautiful day in Haiti.
Haiti proceded to go through heads of state the way most niggers
go through sexual partners: quickly and violently. In 1811, some nigger
named himself King Henri I, and in 1849, some other nigger declared
himself Faustin I, Emperor of Haiti. This was done so that Haitians
could say that WE HAZ KEENGS LIKE THE EGYPTSHUNS AN SHEEET!
Political instability was laughably common, with bucks overthrowing each
other seemingly twice a day; from 1911 to 1915, there were six different
Presidents. This kind of disorder made the United States nervous
about its foolish investments there, and sent Marines to establish
order in 1915. They ended up staying until 1934, by which time they
had built almost all of Haiti's paved roads (before 1915, rural Haiti
had only 3 miles of usable road), plus schools, hospitals, government
buildings, a police force, etc. Almost as soon as the Americans left,
everything went to shit again. The US military would have to come
back in 1994 to prevent more chimpouts from spinning out of control
(they shouldn't have bothered).
Haitian President Rene Preval campaigning for votes.
Contrary to popular belief, Haitian niggers don't speak French, but
a corrupted version of it that no one else in the world speaks. They
call this Kreyole or Creole (also known as French
Niggerbabble). Haiti is well known for being the home of voodoo, a
type of black magic that Haitian niggers swear actually works
and accomplishes things that would normally be possible only through
hard work. The chimps will attempt to scare you with voodoo,
thinking humans are as stupid as they are and share their childish
faith in the magical power of chicken blood, rocks and chanting.
Another famous Haitian creation is the zombie: a lumbering,
mindless, supposedly "undead" person that obeys its master's
commands. Upon closer inspection of so-called zombies, you will
quickly find out that these moaning, slowly moving, death-smelling
creatures are actually just regular living niggers displaying typical
The niggers in Haiti have chopped down almost all the trees to
make charcoal, which they use to cook delicious mud pies. Because
of this, the country is 98% deforested and the soil is now largely
infertile. The apes depend almost totally on foreign aid just to
survive, as they could not grow their own food even if they wanted
to. There is almost no tourism, little industry and epidemic levels
of crime, poverty and AIDS (duh). Haiti is a perfect example that
no matter where niggers are, whether in Africa or the Americas,
if they are allowed to run things on their own, the result is
invariably the same: EPIC FAILURE.
A wonderful, miraculous event occured on January 12, 2010, when
a 7.0 earthquake completely flattened half the country and killed--
as of March 2010--around 230,000 niggers. Lulz were had as the
world witnessed the chimpouts that immediately broke out before
the earth even stopped shaking. Niggers wasted no time with the
"Gibs me dat!", demanding that the rest of the world drop whatever
they were doing to come rescue their useless asses.
Open-air dead nigger storage, courtesy of Mother Nature.
The earth-coon-ake produced classic TNB, such as: a nigger dragging
a dead nigger out of a coffin in order to steal it, another nigger
digging a 12-year-old sow out of the rubble and immediately raping
her, and wild feral coons building barricades and road blocks out of
nigger corpses. Haiti will continue being an incredible mess for years
to come, except for the fact that the earthquake left Port-Au-Price
looking better than before. That and all the dead niggers.
Sources: Wikipedia, National Vangard, CIA World Factbook.