Chimpout's Nigger World Atlas, Page 27: Central African Republic

[nutnice]

Central African Republic


Location: Central Africa, oddly enough
Capital: Bangui
Population: 4,216,666
Ethnic Groups: Niggers, 100%
Gross Domestic Product: $3.102 billion
GPD Per Capita: $726
Main Industries: Subsistence agriculture, diamonds, homemade hooch



The fetid backwater which is now known as the Central African Republic (or CAR)
was long isolated from the rest of Africa--and the world--due to its remote location.
Niggers moved into the area as long ago as 1000 BC, although this is debatable.
Muslim traders made inroads into the region in the 1800s, with the French establishing
a settlement in Bangui in 1889. European rule did little to dampen the local nigger
chiefs' enthusiasm for the slave trade (this consisted mostly of niggers selling niggers
as slaves to other niggers). Despite the remoteness of the Bangui colony and the
endless monkeyshines from the local ape population, the colony was modestly
successful and productive under French rule. But if you've read enough of these
Atlas entries, you already know what's coming next.


Nigglet from the Central African Republic, who has mistaken an old lamp for a hat.

In 1960, the colony gained its independence as the Central African Republic. The niggers
began wrecking the place in fairly short order, as they always do when they are handed
something to run on their own. The coontry's second president, David Dacko (or moar
liek David Wacko, amirite?) was overthrown by "Colonel" Jean Bedel Bokassa, a nigger
as insane and depraved as any African strongman. Bokassa's rule was the typical
African circus of TNB, brutality, torture and flat-out batshit insanity. Bokassa abolished
the constitution and dissolved the legislature, and was fond of murdering and torturing
his opponents. Once, after meeting Qaddafi of Lybia, he decided to convert to Islam,
only to convert back to Catholicism later. In 1976, Bokassa broke the record for Most
Insane Nigger Ruler in the World by proclaiming the CAR to be a monarchy (he renamed
the country to "Central African Empire") and crowning himself Emperor (literally; he
put the crown on his head himself). The crowning ceremony cost many millions of
dollars and pissed away what little money the country's treasury had left. None of
the many foreign leaders who were invited to the ceremony showed up.


I BEEZ A KING AN SHEEET!!

Bokassa's repression became too much for his starving nigger subjects to handle. In
1979, niggers rioted against the government's policy of making school "children" wear
expensive, mandatory uniforms. About a hundred coons were killed by the "Emperor's"
goons, with Bokassa killing some of the niggers himself by beating them to death on
the street with his cane. Shortly thereafter, French forces helped ovethrow the insane
nigger bastard, who went into exile and died in 1996. The CAR remained one of the
poorest, most backwards shitholes on the planet. It is plagued by hunger, civil violence
and bongo parties. It was briefly in the news in 2004 when Haitian nigger Prezidint Jean
Bertrand Aristide was dumped in the CAR by the United States after a giant chimpout
broke out in Haiti. Aristide didn't stay long, as the CAR openly stated that they had
no money to host him for very long and Aristide found the country too backward for
him. And this guy came from Haiti.The CAR is basically a black hole (no pun
intended) in the universe of FAIL that is Africa.

[SnowDog]

Bokassa even managed to out-do Idi Amin in pure batshittery. That's really saying something.

[PaleStacey]

Bokassa bought that crown at a costume store. I saw one just like it this past halloween. $5.00, made in China.

[niggerphobe]

another great atlas entry

[Picaninny Tar baby]

Nutnice, this is another masterpiece of literary brilliance.

At some point, this needs to be turned into a book and sold. It will be a best seller!

[nutnice]

Thanks for the kind words, folks. The next entry should be Angola, another nigger
super-disaster.

[Exterminanegros]

Thanks for the kind words, folks. The next entry should be Angola, another nigger
super-disaster.

A good, but complicated future entry would be Brazil. It would be somewhat similar to the US entry given its still-large human population, but interesting nonetheless.

[nutnice]

A good, but complicated future entry would be Brazil. It would be somewhat similar to the US entry given its still-large human population, but interesting nonetheless.

An entry on Brazil would probably be a week-long project, lol. Not a bad
idea, though. It's getting boring writing about the Apefreakan countries
(they're basically the same thing with different names). Maybe it's time
I mix it up and take a look at this side of the Atlantic for a bit.

[Justin Igger]

Excellent as usual.

[Dwight Mansburden]

Very good! Each new entry tops the previous efforts!

But if you're read enough of these
Atlas entries, you know what's coming next.

Yes, we do.