My Coalburning Aunty and her Pet Abo

[Auro]

I've gotta share this story about my aunty and her pet gorilla. This event happened 3 years ago:

My aunty is one of those religious fruitcakes who believe in shit like "we're all gods children...blah blah blah". During her early 20's, she went on some sort of spiritual discovery and began getting involved with a very liberal church who accept niggers into their congregation. Most of my family are not religious in the slightest and she is the only one who has adopted any regular religious belief. A few years ago, through the church, she met Leroy, a god fearing, lazy Abo gorilla who loves to talk about "jeebus" and the "lawd" at any given opportunity. Leroy is a rather interesting Abo, he seems to love white culture and tries his damnedest to imitate it but as with all niggers, he is prone to random chimpouts and monkeyshine behavior from time to time. He's been in unemployed for 6 years (which he blames on a bad back though nobody believes him) and sits at home all day and watches movies, plays Xbox and eats whilst my dumb-ass, nigger loving aunty works two full-time jobs to support both of them and their monkey daughter. She always makes pathetic excuses for him for his monkey behavior. He has the IQ of a peanut and I often wonder if he actually has a brain at all. He is intensley disliked by everybody in the family, particularly because of his selfishness and his mentality.

They dated for many years but she kept it a secret from the family for quite a while, until she got pregnant out of wedlock with their half-breed daughter and it all came out. After finding out, many of my family members wanted nothing to do with her, both because she dated a nigger and she was having a half-breed shitskin. It's only recently she's been let back into the "fold" so to speak, however nobody in the family really wants anything to do with her. I personally treat her as if she's invisable and I don't engage her in conversation.

Anyway, it's my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. My mum, dad, brother and I traveled especially for the occasion and the whole family was invited to a pre-celebration BBQ at my grandparents house, the day before the actual party. There was about 20 people at the BBQ and everybody was having a great time, until my aunty and her Abo pet showed up. After saying hello to everybody, Leroy went to my grandparents and asked if he could watch a DVD that he had rented from a movie rental store and needed to watch before he had to return it the next day Amazingly, my grandparents said yes! Leroy then dissapeared for two hours, laying on my grandparents couch watching some stupid buffoonish movie. When lunch time came, my aunty got some things on a plate for him and took it into Leroy on the lounge, he then had a chimpout at her because it was cold and something about him not liking capsicum. Leroy ate it anyway. When the movie was finished he came outside and sat in a chair and started helping himself to other people's leftover food on their plates, including mine. When I went to the bathroom, I returned to find him with my plate gorging his big nigger mouth on my chicken, as soon as I walked over to him he just looked at me and said "oh sorry, I just wanted some chicken" I told him to have the rest of it, I didn't want his nigger germs. I walked away shaking my head.

By this stage he was really starting to piss everybody off, including my aunty whom I could tell was embarrassed by her pet and his behaviors. After gorging himself, the stupid chimp fell asleep in the chair and began snoring, his snoring was so load and we could hardly hear other people talking and he had to be woken several times for him to stop it. At the insistence of my aunty, he went inside and slept on my grandparents couch for the next hour, probably in an attempt to get him away from everybody. I could tell something was going to go down sooner or later because of this gorilla and a few hours later it did...My grandfather loves his whiskey and as an anniversary present, my grandfather received a very expensive bottle of whiskey as a present from my mum and dad. I don't drink personally so I cannot remember the brand, but it cost my parents a fortune. Anyway, by late in the afternoon nobody could find the bottle anywhere.

By about 4pm, everybody was getting ready to leave. There was a whole lot of food left over from the BBQ lunch and who should by seen over at the food counter? Leroy! This negro had grabbed five paper bags and was stuffing them with other people's food without asking! My uncle, who cannot stand him, or niggers in general walked up to him and said "What are you doing?", Leroy then looked at him and said "Ah, just putting some stuff in a bag for my dinner tonight.", in one of the bags my uncle also noticed my grandfather's bottle of whiskey that had gone missing! My uncle then said "No you're not! Put all that food back! It doesn't belong to you." by now, both my other uncle and grandfather had heard the commotion and wandered over. My grandfather saw the whiskey bottle and grabbed them out of his bag, "What the fuck are you doing with this? This is my present!" he then proceeded to say that everybody else had taken stuff home, why can't he? My uncle then pointed out that the whiskey bottle was a present from my mum and dad and the food people took home, they had brought the food themselves and that he had brought nothing to the BBQ. Leroy then pulled the race card, telling them that they were picking on him because he was black. and then went on to say something about how he had a "family to feed" and that he had nothing in the fridge at home. My uncle then said, "You don't deserve anything you lazy, thieving black bastard." My uncle then threatened to bash the shit out of him if he didn't put the food back, at which point Leroy nearly shit himself and knowing my uncle is a man not to be fucked with, put the food back and walked away, going over to complain to my aunty.

A few minutes later, my coalburning aunty came over and approached my two uncles and grandfather and told them that it's "part of his culture, all the relatives share food at BBQ's" To much my grandfather replied, "I don't care, he's not taking food that isn't his. He attempted to steal my whiskey. Tell him if he ever tries anything like that again, watch out." She then said "He said you called him a black bastard, that's insensitive and racist, that really hurt his feelings!", my uncle replied "Fuck him! I don't know what the hell you see in him. He's a useless piece of shit." My aunty walked away with tears in her eyes, they both got in the car and left.

The next day, the day of the anniversary party, we all arrived at a flash restaurant for the party. My aunty arrived without the ape, after which my grandmother asked, "Where's Leroy?", my aunty replied, "Oh, he's feeling sick, he couldn't come" . However later on during the event, my aunty apparently confided in my grandmother that Leroy was frightened about coming to the party in case he got bashed by my uncles over the incident with the food. He wasn't missed by anybody and it was a fantastic nig free event and was enjoyed by all, I know my grandparents didn't want him there anyway. This happened three years ago and apparently he has yet to return to any family gathering since. He continues to avoid my uncles to this very day.

[I'z bees outta of Gas]

Holy shit! I'm glad Leroy doesn't feel welcome but I'd had told him and the coalburner to never darken our door again. Taking shit is their culture? No shit, that reason 67 we should never be force to associate with such thieves. He wasn't going to feed his fambly with the whiskey.

[overseer]

Thats his "culcha" huh? Your uncles should have shared some our their "culture" with it.

[Prefrontal_Cortex]

Funny Story..

Abos are not Negro, i believe.. they're called Australioid.

They are just as stupid and sub-human though.

[Nig_Free_Ireland]

Abos are worse than American Niggers. They both have an entitlement mentality and are useless races. Your aunt sounds like a grade A dumbass. I wouldn't piss on people like that if they were on fire. Fair play to your family, they handled the situation in the right way.

[Pool Dog]

[QUOTE=I'z bees outta of Gas;1130412]Holy shit! I'm glad Leroy doesn't feel welcome but I'd had told him and the coalburner to never darken our door again.

That's what I would have done too.

[Zombie Trayvon]

There is one good thing about distant relatives burning the coal, you can use it as an example for younger female relatives of what not to do. "See how aunt or cousin such and suchs life is so screwed up-see what shes married to?"

Just found out last night that one of my first cousins is burning the coal. Ive had a couple second cousins do that, but this so far is the closest relative. In this case though, i really understand. She wasnt going to find anything else. This girl is ugly as a cows ass and dumber than a nigger herself. And the nigger shes dating looks like a retarded version of Mr. T. Seriously, he has a Mr. T haircut and a look in his eyes like someone dropped a brick on his head.

[sir chimp a lot]

You Uncles should have kicked his black ass to the curb way before the bottle stealing incident. As hard as it is to believe, I think Abos are even more stupid than the niggers in Africa. Even uglier as well.

[Tuskegee]

It's hard to tell others what to do when dealing with coal burning family members, because some people take that blood is thicker than water shit and family bonds to far. What would I have done in your situation? Maybe called the aunt, and told her not to bring herself, the nigger, or her illegitimate shit skin to either party because they are not wanted, I would tell her why, because she not only laid with the beast but she spawned with it. I would use the word nigger talking to her, and tell her you will call both shit skins niggers in front of everyone if they show up, and maybe insinuate the chimp will get a beating for showing up.

[Moolie Mook]

How can calling it a "black bastard" be racist? The abo IS black - just a statement of fact. The likelihood of the abo being a bastard is so high, it may as well be a fact. "Black bastard" is no more a racist statement than "blue sky".

Niggers is as nigger does.