Road Kill - Don't Read While Eating

[shadranok]

We've all seen what road kill looks like after it's a couple of weeks old and had been run over by countless trucks and automobiles. You know, you can kind of pick it up and toss it like a frisby. A friend of my brother's had been taking a bicycle tour through Africa (why Africa, I haven't a clue). Anyhow the guy's riding along country road, and he comes across one of these road Kill "patties". It's kind of big, so at first he thinks it's a gazelle or a wildebeest. Upon closer examination it's a nigger, flattened to mudflap thickness. Out of concern for any other humans that might be travelling on the road, the guy grabs a stick and flips it off into the ditch the way you might do an old rotten piece of plywood.

[White Flight]

That's funny. I've actually recently picked up an old piece of plywood off the road out of concern for my fellow motorists.

Upon closer examination of the full sheet of (3/8", IIRC) plywood, I determined that it was not rotten, and that if I trimmed off the badly beaten up edges, it could be useful. The same could not be said of flat nigger, in any size.

[shadranok]

That's funny. I've actually recently picked up an old piece of plywood off the road out of concern for my fellow motorists.

Upon closer examination of the full sheet of (3/8", IIRC) plywood, I determined that it was not rotten, and that if I trimmed off the badly beaten up edges, it could be useful. The same could not be said of flat nigger, in any size.

I think it would have been kind of cool to coat the flattened nigger with rosin, polished it up, framed it, and hang it up in the living room. Would have made one hell of a conversation piece.

[dustytoothpick]

Maybe they consider that part of the road tread over there. Heck, soak it a couple weeks and stuff it in potholes. Great story!

[mvacanti77]

I know how much niggers stink ALIVE, I can't imagine how bad it must stink DEAD and decomposing? And really how could you tell it was dead? Niggers are slothful, foul smelling, and useless. I guess the only way to tell it was flat

[General Skeptic]

After countless dozens, or hundreds, or thousands of passing pedestrians, bicyclists, and motorists that must have continued to squash the carcass into a leathery pancake, your friend was doubtless the first human to come along in weeks or months, and therefor the only being that actually cared enough to move the carcass off the road. Africa: full of feral animals that walk like men, but have no resemblance to human beings in any way the truly matters.

[White Flight]

I think it would have been kind of cool to coat the flattened nigger with rosin, polished it up, framed it, and hang it up in the living room. Would have made one hell of a conversation piece.

Put a layer of plywood under it (cut to fit the round/oblong shape), and you could make a coffee table. A thick coating of rosin should seal the smells in, which have mostly baked out anyway.

[ronny]

We've all seen what road kill looks like after it's a couple of weeks old and had been run over by countless trucks and automobiles. You know, you can kind of pick it up and toss it like a frisby. A friend of my brother's had been taking a bicycle tour through Africa (why Africa, I haven't a clue). Anyhow the guy's riding along country road, and he comes across one of these road Kill "patties". It's kind of big, so at first he thinks it's a gazelle or a wildebeest. Upon closer examination it's a nigger, flattened to mudflap thickness. Out of concern for any other humans that might be travelling on the road, the guy grabs a stick and flips it off into the ditch the way you might do an old rotten piece of plywood.

plywood is worth more than a nigger

[Nigganomics]

Like everything else,I will bet they believe now invented "BLACKTOPPING" roads.

[YTISFEDUP]

We've all seen what road kill looks like after it's a couple of weeks old and had been run over by countless trucks and automobiles. You know, you can kind of pick it up and toss it like a frisby. A friend of my brother's had been taking a bicycle tour through Africa (why Africa, I haven't a clue). Anyhow the guy's riding along country road, and he comes across one of these road Kill "patties". It's kind of big, so at first he thinks it's a gazelle or a wildebeest. Upon closer examination it's a nigger, flattened to mudflap thickness. Out of concern for any other humans that might be travelling on the road, the guy grabs a stick and flips it off into the ditch the way you might do an old rotten piece of plywood.

Even the vultures and hyenas wouldn't touch the dead nigger.