Daily devotional for Chimpers

[Mr. Sandman]

The Book of Tyreqwius, chapter something, verse, uh:

For Obama so loves others' tax dollars that he gives others' begotten sons, that whosoever votes for him should not worry about paying mortgages and putting gas in their cars, but have everlasting gibs. For Satan did not send Obama into the world to save it, but that the world might be destroyed through him. A YT who believes in Obama is not accused of racism; a YT who does not believe is called racist already, because he has not believed in the name of the Everlasting Giver of Gibs. This is the judgement, that Satan has come into the world, and the evildoers loved the gibs rather than honest work, for they are evil.

Yea, though niggers walk through the valley of the shadow of the po-po, they fear no arrest, for Holder is with them. Their illegal handguns and disarmed YTs comfort them.

[Moolie Mook]

Amen.

[Shoogafoot Jones]

Amen.

And God, In his anger, said unto Moses upon Mount Sinai "For you shall be punished for 40 years""

So Moses, being kind of a cool dude and all, says "40 years? That is but a grain of sand"

Now God, a little ticked off then previous, said unto Moses...

"Then, I will give you the NIGGER. The nigger will steal your crops, rape your women and murder your children. They will be the most vile creatures upon Earth, even below the serpent...Their souls will be oweth to Satan only, and to him they will answer."

Moses, thinking this isn't too bad because he knows they can defend themselves, says unto the Lord...

"We will create weapons for which to attack these beasts, hold them at bay, and make them accountable for themselves!"...

Now, God, totally beside His self, finally says unto Moses...

"And then I will give you the LIBERAL"...

And man was forever cursed.

[Mushmouth]

Went to the Bible for this.

And I beheld, when he opened the sixth seal and lo, there was a crash in the monetary system.
The tax revenue for the gibs had run worthless and dry.
The nigger scourge gathered en masse and blocked out the sun, it became as black as sackcloth.
And in the darkness the "great chimpout" commenced.
The earth shook as the hordes of shitkins lay waste to all the lands.
The seas and the moon ran red with blood and the defenseless YT liberals became the first to fall........

[Moolie Mook]

"And then I will give you the LIBERAL"...

And man was forever cursed.

ACK!!

[Coonfest]

Went to the Bible for this.

And I beheld, when he opened the sixth seal and lo, there was a crash in the monetary system.
The tax revenue for the gibs had run worthless and dry.
The nigger scourge gathered en masse and blocked out the sun, it became as black as sackcloth.
And in the darkness the "great chimpout" commenced.
The earth shook as the hordes of shitkins lay waste to all the lands.
The seas and the moon ran red with blood and the defenseless YT liberals became the first to fall........

[Nigligent]

The Book of Tyreqwius, chapter something, verse, uh:

For Obama so loves others' tax dollars that he gives others' begotten sons, that whosoever votes for him should not worry about paying mortgages and putting gas in their cars, but have everlasting gibs. For Satan did not send Obama into the world to save it, but that the world might be destroyed through him. A YT who believes in Obama is not accused of racism; a YT who does not believe is called racist already, because he has not believed in the name of the Everlasting Giver of Gibs. This is the judgement, that Satan has come into the world, and the evildoers loved the gibs rather than honest work, for they are evil.

Yea, though niggers walk through the valley of the shadow of the po-po, they fear no arrest, for Holder is with them. Their illegal handguns and disarmed YTs comfort them.

[Nigligent]

And God, In his anger, said unto Moses upon Mount Sinai "For you shall be punished for 40 years""

So Moses, being kind of a cool dude and all, says "40 years? That is but a grain of sand"

Now God, a little ticked off then previous, said unto Moses...

"Then, I will give you the NIGGER. The nigger will steal your crops, rape your women and murder your children. They will be the most vile creatures upon Earth, even below the serpent...Their souls will be oweth to Satan only, and to him they will answer."

Moses, thinking this isn't too bad because he knows they can defend themselves, says unto the Lord...

"We will create weapons for which to attack these beasts, hold them at bay, and make them accountable for themselves!"...

Now, God, totally beside His self, finally says unto Moses...

"And then I will give you the LIBERAL"...

And man was forever cursed.

[Coonfest]

And God, In his anger, said unto Moses upon Mount Sinai "For you shall be punished for 40 years""

So Moses, being kind of a cool dude and all, says "40 years? That is but a grain of sand"

Now God, a little ticked off then previous, said unto Moses...

"Then, I will give you the NIGGER. The nigger will steal your crops, rape your women and murder your children. They will be the most vile creatures upon Earth, even below the serpent...Their souls will be oweth to Satan only, and to him they will answer."

Moses, thinking this isn't too bad because he knows they can defend themselves, says unto the Lord...

"We will create weapons for which to attack these beasts, hold them at bay, and make them accountable for themselves!"...

Now, God, totally beside His self, finally says unto Moses...

"And then I will give you the LIBERAL"...

And man was forever cursed.