My Soul Train Audition Didn’t Work Out Like I Planned

[OCHonegro]

Them niggas don’t know talent when they see it.


So after leaving the Army in 94, while attending school in Tallahassee, FL I began recording music as a side hobby. About this time, the techno music scene was kinda in its infancy and I remember remarking to my roommate that I could probably write that shit in my sleep. So long as you know the A minor chord structure (LOL), techno pretty much writes itself.
The two of us had a ‘band’- if you want to call it that- where he would pay for my liquor and weed while I entertained him with my songwriting and music playing. I tried to teach him how to play guitar, but he never did catch on. Anyway, we named our band Priest, after the protagonist in the movie SuperFly. For those who have seen it, they will know that it was a shoddy blaxploitation film headlined by Colonel Bella, who would later go on to invade the U.S. as a Cuban infantry commander. He failed, just as all niggers fail at everything.

So one night we’re at a club downtown trying to pick up pussy and the place is rocking with hot chicks and, unfortunately, sweaty pavement apes. Then inspiration hit me: This thumpin’ music just needs some good lyrics to make it tolerable to the ears. Seeing those chimps out there trying the set the tone for the musical story I would later tell. But I got drunk, struck out with a few chicks, my roommate paid the bar tab, and we decided to head back home. Not content to be only slightly drunk, we began opening up all the ‘top shelf’ items, starting with the Goldschlager. Bad idea, I know.
Or maybe not…

I had a Korg X3 synthesizer with a built-in 16 track sequencer along with a Fostex 4 track recorder and an Alesis rack mounted digital reverb/flange along with a Digitech RP-10 floor pedal guitar processor. The only thing I didn’t have was a decent microphone (along with the ability to sing in tune), as mine only cost me around $200 and it showed. It was routed through the distortion pedal to make the vocals more menacing. So, in a matter of roughly two or three hours, I programmed all the music, wrote most of the lyrics, and started the vocals session after two or three mega-bong hits. I even let my buddy have backup vocals at the beginning of the song. I doubt he will want to take credit for it today, though.

Surprisingly, we were able to complete the recording all in one take. Remember that this is vintage techno conceived and produced in a matter of hours so keep that in mind when you listen. It’s heavy on bass, so adjust your subwoofer accordingly. The song is a mockery of techno, rap, and niggers, but it at least has a beat you can dance to! It is best played with the amplifier turned to 11.

So, without further ado, I give you: Dance, Nigga, Dance

Download the file here:
http://www.chimpout.com/forum/mp3/Pr...NiggaDance.mp3

Lyrics

Chorus:
Dance, lousy nigga, dance, mother fucker dance.
Dance, nigga, dance…
Dance, lousy nigga, dance, mother fucker dance.
Dance, nigga, dance!
Dance, lousy nigga, dance, mother fucker dance.
Dance, nigga, dance…
Dance, lousy nigga, dance, mother fucker dance.
Nigga, you gotta dance!

Verse:
Dance, nigga, dance.
All you niggas dance.
While my funky beat is pumpin’
Puttin’ you in a trance.

I’ll keep these lyrics easy,
You keep your dance moves sleazy.
Get your asses on the floor
And do your best to please me!

All you niggas on the floor,
Your dance moves are so groovy.
When you’re packed from wall-to-wall
It looks like a Tarzan movie.


The way you niggas move
It’s almost pornographic.
This dance hall’s looking more and more
Like National Geographic!



Chorus:
Dance, lousy nigga, dance, mother fucker dance.

Dance, lousy nigga, dance, mother fucker dance.
Dance, lousy nigga, dance, mother fucker dance.
Dance, lousy nigga, dance, mother fucker dance.

Refrain/Coda:
Listenin’ to those other guys
Your dance moves have deceased.
But when you’re dancin’ on my floor
You’re dancin’ with The Priest.

Now Priest is on the street
And we’re some bad mother fuckers.
Cold pimpin’ your girl
And treatin’ you like a sucker!


Chorus:
Dance, lousy nigga, dance, mother fucker dance.
Dance, lousy nigga, dance, mother fucker dance.
Dance, lousy nigga, dance, mother fucker dance.
Dance, lousy nigga, dance, MOTHER FUCKER DANCE!!!

Verse:
I can barely see you on the floor
Your ass is black as pitch.
But nigga if you only knew,
Your momma is my bitch.



While you dancin’ on the floor,
I know your heart is pumpin’.
Just like your nasty mother’s does
When we starts to humpin’!

She’s ridin’ on my jock,
A-screamin’ and a-yellin’.
But not for me, my BOY, you see

She wants more watermelon.



Now nigga I know you mad,
You’re comin’ out your pants!
But when I scream in to this mike,
You better DANCE, NIGGA, DANCE!!!



Coda:
Dance you dirty nigger…
Move it up and down…


Shake your big black ass…

All the way downtown…



Verse:

Now all this freaky dancin’
Sends your temperature to the roof.
The sweat is comin’ out your pores
Like you’re tryin’ to tell the truth.



You see that white girl dancin’
I know you’re thinking rape.
But she won’t even talk to you
‘Cuz you look like a God-damn ape!

Your lips are bobbin’ up and down,
Your head is so clean shaven.
You try to be just like THE MAN,
But your ass was BRED FOR SLAVIN’!

Don’t think I’m being mean, BOY,
I’m givin’ you a chance
To redeem yourself in the eyes of The Priest,
NOW DANCE, NIGGA, DANCE!!!


After we recorded it, we went to a local bar I frequent and I gave the demo tape to my friend who tended there. He was closing up the bar (it was around 3 or 4 am) and we pretty much had carte blanche authority to crank the sound system. He pressed play on the tape deck and we stepped outside to pack some bowls. Passersby heard the jamz and instinctively started the head bobbing to the beat. Humans walking down the sidewalk were full of smiles with every shout of the word NIGGER. And believe me, it was loud.


Hope you Chimpers got a good laugh out of it as much as I did when I wrote it.


Now, to atone for corrupting your eardrums with that, I will soon offer my apologies by letting you download some of my other songs from back then using my DropBox list. I will have those files uploaded within a day or two and will post the links here. They actually include guitars.

-OCH

[Moolie Mook]

Dude, put that to some techno-style graphics shit, make a vid and put that on YouTube!!

It would be hilarious if it got millions of views!

[Safetyman08]

thats was pretty funny

[treyboon]

Dude, put that to some techno-style graphics shit, make a vid and put that on YouTube!!

It would be hilarious if it got millions of views!

slap it on youtube with obama singing it.

[Justin Igger]

That is pure genius. Youtube for sure!

[OCHonegro]

I added a few of my songs I had written back in the early 90s to my dropbox account. Just click on the link below and it will take you to the folder list, and from there you can download all the songs you want. These are all original compositions of mine and even though I have them copyrighted, I am giving permission for anyone to use them however they see fit, so long as I am given credit for their creation.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/3zx0dytkrfjt274/PTnYP0S7GL

Let me know what you think of them. Some of them range from bad to truly horrible.

-OCH

[manbearpig]

dance nigger dance...

[Ray Sizzum]

Slap it on NigTube, right now!