Today my wife and I were in the food court of the Sunshine Plaza (mall) in Maroochydore, Queensland, where I spotted a hitherto rare creature: the Australian Coalburner. She was a chubby, heavily made-up, bleached blonde beast, pushing a niglet around in a pram.
I later asked my wife if she'd noticed the burner; she said "Yes, but I couldn't look directly at it." I was so proud.
There are an alarming number of Africans around here. I think the warm climate attracts them. I may have to move further south.



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