'How To Spot A Nigger In The News' by Deeandre' Babydaddy

[daltonfury]

*All the credit for this little gem goes to "Rant N. Irishman" of the now defunct Moynihan Institute*


Remember the old days when the papers would report on a crime and they would always give you a description of the perp? You know, black male 5'6" 350 pounds and carrying a bag of McDonald's French Fries. I think they stopped doing that about 10 years ago. I'm not sure why because in the past giving a description of the perp helped to apprehend these clowns. My guess is that it became a faux paux to mention race when reporting violent crime especially in light of the fact that it has become so redundant to say 'black male' over and over and over again.

So as a service to the readers I am providing an informative guide to help you to ascertain if characters in the crime story are niggers. First off you can almost never go wrong in assuming that the perp will always be a nigger especially if it's a violent crime against a person. The law of averages is on your side. The ridiculous names are a dead giveaway that a nigger was involved. You know the types I'm talking about. You might read something like this, "Rakeem Cleophus Williams, was gunned down/gunned someone down..."

If you hear the words 'aspiring' and 'rapper' in the same article you can assume that the whole debacle involved niggers. 'Aspiring' is just a nice way of saying unemployed loser. I mean you are either doing what you want to or you're not. 'Aspiring' is just daydreaming. As for 'rapper', well it may be cliche` but all niggers think they are rappers. It's the white boy equivalent of dreaming to grow up to be president. The only difference is that the most white boys drop the allusion around age 12. Niggers 'aspire' to be rappers well into old age, which would be around 32. You might read something like this, "Rakeem Cleophus Williams an aspiring rapper, was gunned down/gunned someone down..."

The time and day are virtually always dead give aways that a nigger was involved. Friday and Saturday nights can go either way but Mondays and Tuesdays between the hours of midnight and 4:00 a.m. are the nigger's time slot. You might read something like this, "Rakeem Cleophus Williams an aspiring rapper, was gunned down/gunned someone down Tuesday at approximately 3:30 a.m...."

Any mention of 'basketball' is a sure give away that niggers were involved all the way around. Now I like basketball as a recreation but niggers are simply obsessed with chasing other niggers in shorts around the basketball court. Success on the basketball court is of prime concern to the nigger and is right up there with X to the Z and East Coast vs. West Coast. So it's perfectly understandable that murder is the appropriate course of action when fouled or after a close loss. You might read something like this, "Rakeem Cleophus Williams an aspiring rapper, was gunned down/gunned someone down Tuesday at approximately 3:30 a.m. on a basketball court..."

Yes and lets not forget a mention of some sort of housing 'development' which is a nice word for 'project' which is a nice word for 'slum' which is a nice word for 50% taken out of your paycheck every week to subsidize worthless niggers. Housing developments are to niggers what the trailer park is to Cletus and Jethro. You might read something like this, "Rakeem Cleophus Williams an aspiring rapper, was gunned down/gunned someone down Tuesday at approximately 3:30 a.m. on a basketball court outside of the Harriet Tubman Butterbean Housing Development..."

Then there's the vain attempt by the guilty white reporter to humanize the mook. It always involves mention his of his nickname (all niggers have nicknames even if its only known to themselves) and some meaningless trivia that no one could ever really substantiate either way. I suppose this is an attempt to create some sort of sympathy for the perp/victim, often one in the same, or some sort of outrage. You might read something like this, "Rakeem Cleophus Williams an aspiring rapper, was gunned down/gunned someone down Tuesday at approximately 3:30 a.m. on a basketball court outside of the Harriet Tubman Butterbean Housing Development. Williams also known as 'Peek-a-boo' was best known for his warm smile..."

The "shout out" is usually a clear indication that niggers are involved. Even though there are never any witnesses, and this is absurd since there are always like 3,000 niggers around the way in the vicinity of every event, there are always plenty of 'relatives' on hand to get a camera shot or a quote about how wonderful their perp/victim 'relative' was. Most respectable people would be too distraught or ashamed to blab to reporters but not niggers. It's usually a grandmother or great grandmother and the age never seems to fit within the appropriate breeding age. You might read something like this, "Rakeem Cleophus Williams an aspiring rapper, was gunned down/gunned someone down Tuesday at approximately 3:30 a.m. on a basketball court outside of the Harriet Tubman Butterbean Housing Development. Williams also known as 'Peek-a-boo' was best known for his warm smile. Peek-a-boo's great grandmother 32 year old Gomiqua Johnson had this to say, 'Rakeem was like you know all up in my bidness you know and then Kamiqua say Rakeem blah, blah, blah'..."

After we have been sufficiently buttered up they start laying the truth on us. At this point even if there were no other indicators we are now convinced that a nigger was involved because of the utter pettiness that led to a homicide. Reasons for murder include but are not limited to sneakers, a 10 dollar bill, pork chops, X Box games, bling-bling, X to the Z and East Coast vs. West Coast. You might read something like this, "Rakeem Cleophus Williams an aspiring rapper, was gunned down/gunned someone down Tuesday at approximately 3:30 a.m. on a basketball court outside of the Harriet Tubman Butterbean Housing Development. Williams also known as 'Peek-a-boo' was best known for his warm smile. Peek-a-boo's great grandmother 32 year old Gomiqua Johnson had this to say, 'Rakeem was like you know all up in my bidness you know and then Kamiqua say Rakeem blah, blah, blah'... Apparently the altercation, which led to murder, stemmed from an earlier dispute over some stolen pork chops..."

And finally we'll get to the truth that the perp/victim was "known to the police." This is a nice way of saying that the perp/victim was a low life criminal. Now you know it's a nigger because if the dude were white we would have gotten his entire rap sheet in the first sentence peppered with some allegations that he may have been a "racist". Ask any grizzled veteran cop and he will tell you that more often than not these "tragic" events are between one dirt bag and another. The line between perp and victim is fine in the nigger's world. It's a rare and unlikely event that Rakeem was on his way to the 4-H club or a part time job when he got clipped. The aspiring rapper virtually always has a record. You might read something like this, "Rakeem Cleophus Williams an aspiring rapper, was gunned down/gunned someone down Tuesday at approximately 3:30 a.m. on a basketball court outside of the Harriet Tubman Butterbean Housing Development. Williams also known as 'Peek-a-boo' was best known for his warm smile. Peek-a-boo's great grandmother 32 year old Gomiqua Johnson had this to say, 'Rakeem was like you know all up in my bidness you know and then Kamiqua say Rakeem blah, blah, blah'... Apparently the altercation, which led to murder, stemmed from an earlier dispute over some stolen pork chops. Mr. Williams is apparently known to the police and is a person of interest in some other crimes..."

Not content to leave us with all we really need to know the white reporter feels obligated to make one last attempt to humanize the sad sack of shit with more claims that no one could or would bother to substantiate. And lets not forget the final sympathy plug of for all his bastard children who will most likely follow in his footsteps. It's the only time you will ever see any meaningful association between Rakeem and his bastards. You might read something like this, "Rakeem Cleophus Williams an aspiring rapper, was gunned down/gunned someone down Tuesday at approximately 3:30 a.m. on a basketball court outside of the Harriet Tubman Butterbean Housing Development. Williams also known as 'Peek-a-boo' was best known for his warm smile. Peek-a-boo's great grandmother 32 year old Gomiqua Johnson had this to say, 'Rakeem was like you know all up in my bidness you know and then Kamiqua say Rakeem blah, blah, blah'... Apparently the altercation, which led to murder, stemmed from an earlier dispute over some stolen pork chops. Mr. Williams is apparently known to the police and is a person of interest in some other crimes. Rakeem was making plans to go back to school to get his GED so he could work in the field of security. He leaves behind 7 children twins Wakeem and Akeem Jones 12, Lobiqua Smif 13, Jerome "Booty" Williams 5, Jose "Paco" Lopez 23, Lomain Washington 1 and Cash Money 18..."

And last but not least we will get some plug from some local shyster known as "da preacher". Protestant ministers in nigger churches have no qualms about violating church and state relationships at any opportunity especially if there's grant money involved. Every dead nigger represents dollars to the Reverend Grits and Gravy and every dead nigger presents the Reverend an opportunity to spew his message. Protestant ministers in the white churches would like to help but they're too wrapped up in validating homosexual marriages and committing other heresies. You might read something like this, "Rakeem Cleophus Williams an aspiring rapper, was gunned down/gunned someone down Tuesday at approximately 3:30 a.m. on a basketball court outside of the Harriet Tubman Butterbean Housing Development. Williams also known as 'Peek-a-boo' was best known for his warm smile. Peek-a-boo's great grandmother 32 year old Gomiqua Johnson had this to say, 'Rakeem was like you know all up in my bidness you know and then Kamiqua say Rakeem blah, blah, blah'... Apparently the altercation, which led to murder, stemmed from an earlier dispute over some stolen pork chops. Mr. Williams is apparently known to the police and is a person of interest in some other crimes. Rakeem was making plans to go back to school to get his GED so he could work in the field of security. He leaves behind 7 children, twins Wakeem and Akeem Jones 12, Lobiqua Smif 13, Jerome "Booty" Williams 5, Jose "Paco" Lopez 23, Lomain Washington 1 and Cash Money 18. The Reverend Bishop Apostle Money-Money was on the scene and had this to say, " The def of Rakeem represents the inequality that still exist within our communities of color (Amen, Amen). If I-I mean we had more grant money for more summer jobs I- I mean we..."

I'm sure I could keep adding to the nuances but you get the point. Now go pick up your local paper and read the crime blotter and see if you can ID the perp/victim as a nigger.

[The Friendly Racist]

EXCELLENT post!

I couldn't stop laughing lol.

Nice to see that Niggerology class at Chimpout U is working out for you

[Exterminanegros]

Excellent post! This should be made into a section for Niggerology Studies!

[Reformed]

Sticky candidate, but I think prime nigger goodification days are Thursday and Saturday evenings.

Well done!

[randallgraves]

+1

The only thing I see missing is the mention of memorial balloons, stuffed animals and those gaudy spray-on t-shirts from the "shoutout" niggers

[WhiteMansRevenge]

When I got to "32 Year old grandma" I could hardly contain myself.

Funny how this is so common that you can literally know what is coming next in the pattern.

Well written and hilarious! Great sticky!

[whitebuck]

Is this not the whole truth!!!!!!!!!!!VERY well written , I laughed my tits off!! The bit about the nig going back to school so he can work in security sounds familiar, if not security, the Nig was going into "Corrections" or "a career in Criminal Justice" MY royal ass! The chance that any coon buck working in those fields is (sorry, they dont work) being paid to be in one of these positions in the same as their getting drafted to da NBA

[whitebuck]

From the great white north, Hamilton Ontario, Johnson Aziga 52 has been charged with MURDER after he had intercourse with 2 women who later died, because he had Aids,and did not advise them before Mahdicking them. Aziga, a dirty nigger let into Canada so he could live a productive and useful life away from nhis homeland (read BOOGA BOOGA land) Aziga knew he was infected,but he felt he had to Mahdick someone(or something) helped two coal burners be made good. He has a defence Lawyer ,and in Canada, he could be sent to Nigger University, they have no death penalty. This jigaboo is hoping for a not guilty verdict, because he dinnt do nothins,it only natural that he Mahdick two Ho s .He really try hard to be a good cit i zen and all,but for some reason did not tell dees po girls that he has the Virus. Maybe he forgot. Maybe he could not remember he had it. Maybe he know he got it,but dont know he could infect anyone. So, once again one of these jungle bunnies leaves a few bodies behind ,they died from deadly Nigger jism deposited by this worthless black thing. He be held in jail,but they try to accomadate him with funny papers and KFC, maybe polished sheet metal that he can look into and try to figure out why there is non human face looking back at him, One more example of why any women,even a sheboon , should learn that you can not trust a Nigger! Thats the way it is, the way it has been ,and will always be this way, until these ape bastards make themselves good.i I am depressed!!

[The Cap'n]

Harriet Tubman Butterbean Housing Development

Bahahahaha!

[Pale Rider]

What a great post Dalton I thoroughly enjoyed the read....well done!