I work with a nigger we'll call Elmo. One of my hobbies is buying stock at depressed prices and letting it rise. You know, buy cheap and sell high. You can sometimes make good money at it and Elmo thinks I'm some sort of Warren Buffett. Elmo sometimes asks me what to do wif hiz monnee problems, gnomesane? Elmo has an OK job and is married to a "skuul prince-pal." The two of them are paid fairly decently. Here are a few questions Elmo has posed:

"Mah five year ol kah iz always n da shop. Its always havin trans-mizn problims. Should I buy a new kah or jest replace the trans-mizn?"

"Ah bot this big skren TV. I bot it wif no interes fo three year. It cost $3000. Ah been payin $14 a month an th three yeahs be up next month. Am I gonna get hit wif aw that interes?" Hey, Elmo figured that one out.

"Mah wife, she spen too much monnee. An the daycare be almos' seben hunnert a week. Dey eatin me alive."

"Ize gotz some extra. Should I put it in sum savins or inves it in mah church's buildin' fun?" I asked a few questions about the "reverun." I knew the answers but couldn't pass that one up. The pimped up preacher loves fancy suits, gold jewelry, personal assistants and has several Mercedes. "But thatz howz a man a God sposed to be. You don' unnerstan black pipple an dey churchis."

Elmo decided to feed his spawn at Olive Garden. He thinks mediocre Italian is gourmet. Elmo's spawn demanded to stop at McDonalds first.

I'm always making jokes about $4 burnt coffee at Starbucks. Elmo decided that McDonalds sells coffee for a lot less. The "skuul prince-pal" never has time to cook (surprise surprise) but they love McDonalds nigger chow.

Working with Elmo is entertaining. He actually works more than the other niggers and doesn't wander off from the assigned work area.