Hopefully, this is the right location for this. If not, would the mod please relocate it? Thank you.
Dear Mommy and Daddy
Dear Mommy and Daddy
Why do you hate me? Why do you make me go to school with kids who call me names and hit me and take my things? Why do you make me get up at 5:30 in the morning so I can catch the bus to go clear accross town at 6:15 so I can be at school at 8:00? Then I have to ride home from school on that bus and it takes me almost 2 hours that way too. You get angry when you have to put in overtime at work. Eight hours is enough, you say. But I have to spend almost 11 hours a day going to a school where people treat me with hate.
It wasn't like this in kindergarten, first and second grade where school was only 15 minutes away and my classmates were my friends, and they were a lot like me. I got straight A's, and sometimes a B. Now my grades are C's and D's. I am sorry for that, but I can't concentrate on my studies with kids pulling my hair from the seat behind and calling me names like, "cracker" and "honkey". I really don't know what those names mean, but the way they are said to me makes me afraid. I sometimes cry, but I try not to, because I don't want them to keep hurting me, and I know they will if I show that I am scared.
They call each other "nigger", and they give each other the high five or smile when they do it. So, I thought it was ok to call them "niggers" and I called a girl I wanted to be friends with "my nigger", and she punched me! Then two boys started hitting me and calling me nasty names. That is the day I came home and my ribs hurt from their punches and my lip was swollen. I went to my teacher and told her what happened and she said I shouldn't be a "racist". Then, when I ask mommy what a "racist" is, she said it is white people who hate black people. Honestly, I don't hate anybody. Not even the black kids I go to school with who treat me mean. But, I really don't like them because they are so different from the kids in my old school. They really, trully, don't act like humans. They are always loud, violent and angry. Some of them have even cussed out the teachers! Two of them have even hit my teacher and called her a honkey nasty word.
There are only three white kids besides me in my whole school and they get treated bad too. We are all in different grades, so we don't have a chance to become friends and we can't help each other. Two of them are girls and one is a boy. The boy is in second grade and he gets beat up almost every day. The other girls are in fourth and fifth grade.
Today, the girl in the fourth grade got pulled into the boys bathroom by some sixth grade boys who made her take off her clothes and did some terrible bad things to her. Her mom came and got her and you could hear the little girl crying and screaming all the way down the hall to my class room. I know who two of the boys are and I told the pricipal who they are and he called me a liar and told me to keep my mouth shut about it. He said I am just a little white girl trying to make trouble for two nice black boys because I am a "racist" and I should keep my little nasty word mouth shut or I would be in trouble and maybe go to jail for lying! Honest, I do know who those boys are, but I can't tell anybody because I don't want to go to jail for being a "racist". The principal is black too, so I guess he knows what a "racist" is.
I don't want to be a "racist", so, last week when Tyrell, who is 13 and in sixth grade, grabbed me on the play ground at recess and said he liked girls with yellow hair and I was going to be his "ho", (whats a "ho", mommy?), I let him kiss me. But it felt so bad, so wrong and so disgusting, I puked in his mouth! He got so mad he hit me with his fist on the side of my head. He is the biggest boy in school and when he hit me, I fell on the ground and couldn't see anything for a little while. Mr. Jacobs, who is the only white teacher in my school besides my teacher, Mrs. Silverstone, came over and helped me up. Then he asked me what I did to Tyrell to make him mad. I couldn't think because it felt like I was just waking up, but I felt bad because I puked in a black boys mouth when he kissed me. I felt like such a terrible racist.
Today is Sunday and you want me to go back to school with these kids who treat me badly tomorrow. I am sorry, mommy and daddy, but I can't do that. Not anymore. I have spent two whole months being spit on, cussed at, touched where I shouldn't be touched, called names, hit, had my allowance taken from me, called a "racist" because I am white, told I was going to jail by my principal, unable to sleep at night because I knew the next day was going to be the same as all of the other days.
I decided if you hate me so much that you will make me go back to that school, where I know I cannot help but be a "racist", then I am not going there any more because I hate me too for being a "racist".
I found daddies gun in his closet and the bullets in his night stand.