AG
06-01-2008, 11:08 PM
I came across this a long time ago and posted it on another site but I think it is so hilarious that it deserves to live on here. If anyone has anything to add, feel free!
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AT A NIGGER FUNERAL WHEN:
1. If three generations get out of the family car to beat down someone for cutting into the funeral procession.
2. If you've got relatives coming in shackled from the state pen to pay their respects.
3. A fist fight breaks out.
4. When people break down crying, try to climb into the casket, and tell the Lord that they "want to go."
5. When the dead nigger is wearing $3,000 worth of jewelry, and the funeral directors strip the body before closing the casket for the final time.
6. When friends and fambly wear T-shirts with a photo of the dead nigger on it...to the funeral!
7. When someone walks around to view the body and yells out, "DAT WUZ MY NIGGA!"
8. When the brothas stand around drankin' after the service and someone "pours a li'l supmtin' on the ground for the homie who's no longer with us."
9. When most of the fambly keep fainting before, during, and after the service.
10. When everybody strips the grave of flowers to take home.
11. When the dinner after the funeral turns into a family reunion, folks break out cards and dominoes, somebody starts playing some Marvin Gaye, and all the older men start talking about how they used to pimp back in the day.
12. When the obituary was made on a home typewriter and is filled with misspelled words...even the name of the dead nigger!
13. When the picture on the obituary is of the deceased from 30 years ago!
14. When everybody is trying to out cry one another as if crying the loudest will qualify for a prize after the funeral.
15. If the deaad nigger didn't have 2 nickels to rub together, but leaves the world in a $15,000 silk lined mahogany coffin.
16. When the soloist sings about 15 verses of "Precious Lord" or "His eye is on the Sparrow."
17. When the funeral is two weeks after the death of the dead nigger.
18. When speakers start cussing during their "remarks."
19. When unknown children shout "Daddy" from all over the church.
20 When the preacher don't know which baby mama to give the flag to.
:geek
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AT A NIGGER FUNERAL WHEN:
1. If three generations get out of the family car to beat down someone for cutting into the funeral procession.
2. If you've got relatives coming in shackled from the state pen to pay their respects.
3. A fist fight breaks out.
4. When people break down crying, try to climb into the casket, and tell the Lord that they "want to go."
5. When the dead nigger is wearing $3,000 worth of jewelry, and the funeral directors strip the body before closing the casket for the final time.
6. When friends and fambly wear T-shirts with a photo of the dead nigger on it...to the funeral!
7. When someone walks around to view the body and yells out, "DAT WUZ MY NIGGA!"
8. When the brothas stand around drankin' after the service and someone "pours a li'l supmtin' on the ground for the homie who's no longer with us."
9. When most of the fambly keep fainting before, during, and after the service.
10. When everybody strips the grave of flowers to take home.
11. When the dinner after the funeral turns into a family reunion, folks break out cards and dominoes, somebody starts playing some Marvin Gaye, and all the older men start talking about how they used to pimp back in the day.
12. When the obituary was made on a home typewriter and is filled with misspelled words...even the name of the dead nigger!
13. When the picture on the obituary is of the deceased from 30 years ago!
14. When everybody is trying to out cry one another as if crying the loudest will qualify for a prize after the funeral.
15. If the deaad nigger didn't have 2 nickels to rub together, but leaves the world in a $15,000 silk lined mahogany coffin.
16. When the soloist sings about 15 verses of "Precious Lord" or "His eye is on the Sparrow."
17. When the funeral is two weeks after the death of the dead nigger.
18. When speakers start cussing during their "remarks."
19. When unknown children shout "Daddy" from all over the church.
20 When the preacher don't know which baby mama to give the flag to.
:geek