Judeo-Christian
09-09-2008, 05:50 AM
Below is the link to the original article and first couple of paragraphs. I have taken the liberty to rewrite the article (which then follows) and correct the errors. Overall, an interesting piece on the dark continent.
http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSL148259220080901
Bare-breasted virgins compete for Swaziland king
Mon Sep 1, 2008 1:02pm EDT
By Phakamisa Ndzamela
LUDZIDZINI ROYAL VILLAGE, Swaziland (Reuters) -
Tens of thousands of bare-breasted virgins competed for Swaziland King Mswati III's eye on Monday in a traditional Reed Dance.
Walking through the dense crowds in a leopard skin loin cloth, Sub-Saharan Africa's last absolute monarch was expected to choose his 14th wife.
Critics say Mswati, who has courted controversy for his lavish lifestyle while two thirds of his subjects live in poverty, sets a bad example by encouraging polygamy and teenage sex in a country where about 40 percent of adults live with HIV.............................
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Parade of Half-Dressed Apes Compete for Swaziland Ape King
Mon Sep 1, 2008 1:02pm EDT
By Phakamisa Ndzamela
Primitive Jungleville, Swaziland (Reuters) -
Tens of thousands of horrifyingly ugly, AIDS-infected she-boons exposed their feeding organs in a massive bongo party for Swaziland's King Dumbnigger XIII in a traditional Billy Dee and Kill YT Dance.
Swinging through the trees above dense crowds of fertile niglets and dressed like a fucking idiot, Sub-Saharan Africa's last absolute monarch, with an IQ of 67, was expected to choose his 14th wife. The other thirteen were eaten by the King.
Critics say King Dumbnigger, who has courted controversy for his lavish lifestyle of eating three meals a day while 99% of his subjects live on jenkum residue and bat balls, sets a bad example by encouraging nonstop fucking with teenagers while not taking time to rest and drink malt liquor. It is estimated that about 40 percent of adults in Swaziland live with HIV. The other 60 percent have died.
Some of the women did not seem to mind, although most had little idea what was actually happening. While waiting in line for the King an estimated 1700 children were born and immediately cooked and consumed by starved Swaziland ministers.
"I wish the king would have chosen me because I waited until age 6 to lose my virginity so I am pure. I got my virginity back last week by chanting magic spells and blowing a goat," said Tenene Shaniqua Latrellelon McQueen, age 9.
The Billy Dee and Kill YT Dance has been a big date on the Swaziland cultural calendar since King Dumbnigger began the annual 10 month-long ceremony in 1999 after seizing power in the famous "Cannibal Coup" where former Swaziland King Bling Blingo Ooboo Boootuo MkCkduk was eaten by rebel forces.
Political groups seeking democratic reforms have not been active in Swaziland because no one can write a constitution, much less read one. Nevertheless, opposition has been effectively banned since 1973 by royal decree and the threat of being turnd into a spider.
Critics are also upset over next weekend's celebrations of the king's 40th birthday, saying he should rest since he is the oldest man in Swaziland.
Still, some of Swaziland's sows came to the Royal Village, which consists of a 7-Eleven and two Check Cashing Outlets to show their admiration for the monarch.
"I respek' da king and I respek' da culture," said Nontobeko Sdidlamini Humboboogoko, 12, carrying a shield made of animal scrotum and wearing an orange bracelet which read "Go Vikings".
Some said they would not want to be part of a polygamous arrangement but they were lying. Others stuffed tree leaves into their vaginas to give the appearance of virginity. Others fear they lost out.
"My sister be the king's tenth wife. I don't think he be choosin' me 'cause he has already be bangin' my ho' sister," said Zandisile Yekbuhke Slimeballkobutt Ntentesa, a 21-year-old grandmother of six.
The king, flanked by clueless bodyguards whom he tried to eat, may face pressure from emboldened monkeys who claim the king is damagng the environment with the celebration and want it stopped.
One monkey was seen carrying a sign reading, "Fucking Niggers."
http://www.reuters.com/article/lifestyleMolt/idUSL148259220080901
Bare-breasted virgins compete for Swaziland king
Mon Sep 1, 2008 1:02pm EDT
By Phakamisa Ndzamela
LUDZIDZINI ROYAL VILLAGE, Swaziland (Reuters) -
Tens of thousands of bare-breasted virgins competed for Swaziland King Mswati III's eye on Monday in a traditional Reed Dance.
Walking through the dense crowds in a leopard skin loin cloth, Sub-Saharan Africa's last absolute monarch was expected to choose his 14th wife.
Critics say Mswati, who has courted controversy for his lavish lifestyle while two thirds of his subjects live in poverty, sets a bad example by encouraging polygamy and teenage sex in a country where about 40 percent of adults live with HIV.............................
================================================== =====
Parade of Half-Dressed Apes Compete for Swaziland Ape King
Mon Sep 1, 2008 1:02pm EDT
By Phakamisa Ndzamela
Primitive Jungleville, Swaziland (Reuters) -
Tens of thousands of horrifyingly ugly, AIDS-infected she-boons exposed their feeding organs in a massive bongo party for Swaziland's King Dumbnigger XIII in a traditional Billy Dee and Kill YT Dance.
Swinging through the trees above dense crowds of fertile niglets and dressed like a fucking idiot, Sub-Saharan Africa's last absolute monarch, with an IQ of 67, was expected to choose his 14th wife. The other thirteen were eaten by the King.
Critics say King Dumbnigger, who has courted controversy for his lavish lifestyle of eating three meals a day while 99% of his subjects live on jenkum residue and bat balls, sets a bad example by encouraging nonstop fucking with teenagers while not taking time to rest and drink malt liquor. It is estimated that about 40 percent of adults in Swaziland live with HIV. The other 60 percent have died.
Some of the women did not seem to mind, although most had little idea what was actually happening. While waiting in line for the King an estimated 1700 children were born and immediately cooked and consumed by starved Swaziland ministers.
"I wish the king would have chosen me because I waited until age 6 to lose my virginity so I am pure. I got my virginity back last week by chanting magic spells and blowing a goat," said Tenene Shaniqua Latrellelon McQueen, age 9.
The Billy Dee and Kill YT Dance has been a big date on the Swaziland cultural calendar since King Dumbnigger began the annual 10 month-long ceremony in 1999 after seizing power in the famous "Cannibal Coup" where former Swaziland King Bling Blingo Ooboo Boootuo MkCkduk was eaten by rebel forces.
Political groups seeking democratic reforms have not been active in Swaziland because no one can write a constitution, much less read one. Nevertheless, opposition has been effectively banned since 1973 by royal decree and the threat of being turnd into a spider.
Critics are also upset over next weekend's celebrations of the king's 40th birthday, saying he should rest since he is the oldest man in Swaziland.
Still, some of Swaziland's sows came to the Royal Village, which consists of a 7-Eleven and two Check Cashing Outlets to show their admiration for the monarch.
"I respek' da king and I respek' da culture," said Nontobeko Sdidlamini Humboboogoko, 12, carrying a shield made of animal scrotum and wearing an orange bracelet which read "Go Vikings".
Some said they would not want to be part of a polygamous arrangement but they were lying. Others stuffed tree leaves into their vaginas to give the appearance of virginity. Others fear they lost out.
"My sister be the king's tenth wife. I don't think he be choosin' me 'cause he has already be bangin' my ho' sister," said Zandisile Yekbuhke Slimeballkobutt Ntentesa, a 21-year-old grandmother of six.
The king, flanked by clueless bodyguards whom he tried to eat, may face pressure from emboldened monkeys who claim the king is damagng the environment with the celebration and want it stopped.
One monkey was seen carrying a sign reading, "Fucking Niggers."