swampthing
05-06-2010, 08:45 PM
Ok,ladies and gentlemen. I am officially irritated,mostly with myself for not bothering to skim the first two or three pages of a cheap thriller novel I bought last night.
The title of this godawful piece of trash is Impact,and the hack that shat it out is Douglas Preston.
Went to the bookstore to buy some brain candy. This looked to be ok-sort of a sci-fi/espionage/government coverup novel from the front and back jackets and it was used but in brand new condition. (I now can guess why it looked unread)
Took it to the house. Poured a glass of iced tea, Sat down in the recliner,and opened the book and damned if there wasn't a magic nigrette on the first and second page. To wit-
A nigger sow adopted by a human couple living in Maine(of all places). The nigger sow has graduated from college,is employed as a waitress while she tries to figure out what she wants to do with the rest of her life (you're a nigger,dummy-get on welfare,and pop out niglets. Or get a job with the government,since they have to hire you and can't do anything to make you actually work. Gee,that was sure hard-you couldn't figure it out for yourself????)
To make it even more implausible,this magic nigrette is interested in astronomy. (I know,I started laughing too....)
Nigger,all you need to now about astronomy-and if you're as smart as the typical nigrette,all that you're capable of understanding-is that the world rides around on the back of a giant turtle,and if you fall off the edge,the turtle will eat you and eventually shit out what's left,and you'll spend the rest of eternity floating around in space as a lump of turtle dung. Which,come to think,isn't all that far from what happens in real life.
That's about as far as I got,since I was too busy laughing at the idea of a nigger sow that spends her nights looking at stars (and can even understand and use the tracking software that comes with an upscale amateur telescope....yeah,right....).
So that's where the matter stands-I should have looked closer before I paid for anything,but sometimes you get tired and forget to do obvious stuff,and get burned. Not sure if this idiot boo is worth trying to finish,but I reckon to give it at least one more try,since it might have some entertainment value. If there are any other instances of complete craziness in the book,AND if I spot them before I get disgusted and take it back to sell,I'll let you folks know.
In the meantime,if you see it,DO NOT do what I did and spend any money on trash like this.
The title of this godawful piece of trash is Impact,and the hack that shat it out is Douglas Preston.
Went to the bookstore to buy some brain candy. This looked to be ok-sort of a sci-fi/espionage/government coverup novel from the front and back jackets and it was used but in brand new condition. (I now can guess why it looked unread)
Took it to the house. Poured a glass of iced tea, Sat down in the recliner,and opened the book and damned if there wasn't a magic nigrette on the first and second page. To wit-
A nigger sow adopted by a human couple living in Maine(of all places). The nigger sow has graduated from college,is employed as a waitress while she tries to figure out what she wants to do with the rest of her life (you're a nigger,dummy-get on welfare,and pop out niglets. Or get a job with the government,since they have to hire you and can't do anything to make you actually work. Gee,that was sure hard-you couldn't figure it out for yourself????)
To make it even more implausible,this magic nigrette is interested in astronomy. (I know,I started laughing too....)
Nigger,all you need to now about astronomy-and if you're as smart as the typical nigrette,all that you're capable of understanding-is that the world rides around on the back of a giant turtle,and if you fall off the edge,the turtle will eat you and eventually shit out what's left,and you'll spend the rest of eternity floating around in space as a lump of turtle dung. Which,come to think,isn't all that far from what happens in real life.
That's about as far as I got,since I was too busy laughing at the idea of a nigger sow that spends her nights looking at stars (and can even understand and use the tracking software that comes with an upscale amateur telescope....yeah,right....).
So that's where the matter stands-I should have looked closer before I paid for anything,but sometimes you get tired and forget to do obvious stuff,and get burned. Not sure if this idiot boo is worth trying to finish,but I reckon to give it at least one more try,since it might have some entertainment value. If there are any other instances of complete craziness in the book,AND if I spot them before I get disgusted and take it back to sell,I'll let you folks know.
In the meantime,if you see it,DO NOT do what I did and spend any money on trash like this.